Episodes

4 days ago
4 days ago
There's something that no amount of success, self work, or self love content seems to touch. And most women know exactly what it is even if they've never said it out loud.
It's the feeling that until a man chooses her — really chooses her — something is still missing. Something is still unresolved. And she's been carrying that feeling for a long time.
This episode is about where that comes from. And more importantly — what it actually takes to heal it. Hit play. And when you're done, click here to find out which Relational Blueprint has been quietly running your love life.

Wednesday Jun 17, 2026
The #1 Reason Men Leave (And the Thing That Makes Him Stay)
Wednesday Jun 17, 2026
Wednesday Jun 17, 2026
Click here to take the Quiz and discover your Relational BlueprintSend questions to info@thelivingrelationship.com
Men don't leave because they stop loving you. He may have left loving you completely. And if you've never understood how that's possible — this episode is going to change the way you see every relationship you've ever been in.
Most men can't explain why they leave. There's something happening in their nervous system that they're responding to without the language to name it. Today I'm going to name it for them — and for you — in a way that you've probably never heard before.

Wednesday Jun 10, 2026
Four Months In and He Still Hasn't Told You What He Wants — Do This
Wednesday Jun 10, 2026
Wednesday Jun 10, 2026
Click here to take the Quiz and Discover Your Relational BlueprintSend Questions for July's Q&A Episode to info@thelivingrelationship.comEvery month I set aside an episode to answer your questions directly — the ones you're sitting with, the ones you're afraid to say out loud, and the ones you've been searching for a real answer to. No scripts, no theory for the sake of theory. Just honest, direct responses to what you're actually going through.
If you have a question you'd like answered on a future episode, send it to info@thelivingrelationship.com. Your question could be featured next month.
This month's questions:
"I've been seeing this guy for about four months now and honestly everything feels really good when we're together. But we've never actually defined what we are and every time I get close to bringing it up I just... don't. I'm scared of ruining what we have. How do I know when it's actually time to say something?"
"I've always been someone who shows love by taking care of people. Cooking for them, checking in, being there no matter what. But I've had multiple people tell me that's why men walk all over me. The thing is it doesn't feel like a problem to me, it feels like love. How do I change something that feels so natural without just becoming someone I'm not?"
"My ex told me I was too much. Too emotional, too intense, too needy. And it really messed with me because I wasn't trying to be any of those things, I was just being honest about how I felt. Now I'm in something new and I'm constantly monitoring myself so I don't overwhelm him. How do I just be myself without scaring people away?"
"How do you know when you're being patient and supportive versus just making excuses for someone? I feel like I'm always giving people the benefit of the doubt and I don't know if that's a strength or if I'm just afraid to admit when something isn't working."

Wednesday Jun 03, 2026
The Silent Test Men Are Giving That Women Don't Even Know They're Taking
Wednesday Jun 03, 2026
Wednesday Jun 03, 2026
Click here to take the Quiz and Discover Your Relational Blueprint
Every man, you date is testing you. You didn't know it was happening. You haven't been told the rules. And every day you don't know about it, you're answering it anyway.
Most women enter the early stages of dating focused on one thing — being chosen by the man she likes. What nobody told her is that the qualities she's optimizing for and the qualities that actually earn his commitment are not the same thing. In fact, they're often working against each other.
This episode is about what he's actually watching for when he goes quiet. Why a man who knows exactly what you want will sometimes say nothing and what that silence is really asking you to do. And why the conversation most women are afraid to have is the only one that was ever going to change anything.
There's a principle at the end of this episode that reframes where relational responsibility actually lives — and once you hear it you won't be able to unhear it. If what I just described is already resonating, hit play. And when you're done, find out which Relational Blueprint has been quietly running your love life — link above.

Wednesday May 27, 2026
Wednesday May 27, 2026
Click here to take the quiz and find out what your Relational Blueprint is.
You don't have unrealistic standards.
You know what you want. You've defended it. You've walked away from relationships that didn't meet the bar and you'd do it again. But love still isn't working the way you thought it would, and somewhere in the back of your mind a question you won't say out loud has started forming.
What if the list isn't the problem? What if it's just aimed at the wrong things?
Today's episode isn't about lowering your standards or settling for less than you deserve. It's about something most people in this space won't say: the standards most people have predict almost nothing about whether a relationship will actually work. And the three that do are probably not on your list. If you're ready for that conversation, hit play.

Wednesday May 20, 2026
Why High-Value Men Lose Interest in Women Who Are Too Available
Wednesday May 20, 2026
Wednesday May 20, 2026
Click here to take the Quiz and discover your Relational BlueprintHe didn't lose interest because you cared too much. He lost interest because of what you stopped doing the moment you did. And if you've ever felt like showing up fully in a relationship somehow works against you — like love requires you to be less of yourself to keep it — this episode is going to reframe everything.
Because the problem was never your interest in him. It was the parts of yourself you quietly set aside the moment he became a priority. The parts you dimmed down for something that hadn't even been built yet.
Today's episode names exactly what that costs you — and what it actually looks like to show up fully without playing games, without strategy, and without shrinking. If you're ready for that conversation, hit play. And when you're done, take the Quiz to find out which Relational Blueprint has been quietly running your love life.

Wednesday May 13, 2026
The Essential Qualities of a Conscious Woman
Wednesday May 13, 2026
Wednesday May 13, 2026
Learn more about my Inspired Love 8-Week Journey beginning May 19th here.
Following up from last week's episode, I'm excited to continue on with this popular 2-part series (please note that because this is a reshare, dates for the Challenge and Inspired Love Journey spoken about in this episode have passed, however, the link and date above is current)...
In this episode we explore the attributes that define a woman who is deeply attuned to her personal growth, emotional intelligence, and authentic self-expression.
Drawing from universal spiritual principles and practical experience, we outline the key characteristics that enable a woman to cultivate meaningful connections and embody true love. From self-awareness and vulnerability to emotional resilience and compassion, we discuss how these traits not only enhance her relationship with others but also deepen her relationship with herself.
Whether you’re single and seeking love or in a committed relationship, this episode serves as an empowering guide for women who want to elevate their consciousness and foster deeper, more fulfilling partnerships and men who are seeking a conscious partner.
I hope you enjoy!

Wednesday May 06, 2026
The Essential Qualities of a Conscious Man
Wednesday May 06, 2026
Wednesday May 06, 2026
Click here to join the waiting list for The Conscious Love Challenge.
Click here to join my 8-Week Inspired Journey beginning May 19th.
This week, I'm sharing one of my most popular episodes (please note that because this is a reshare, dates for the Challenge and Inspired Love Journey spoken about in this episode have passed, however, the links and dates above are current)...
Let's dive deep into the essential qualities that define a conscious man.
In this episode, we explore the attributes that empower men to build authentic connections, embrace vulnerability, and foster healthy relationships.
We're clearly defining the qualities that not only enhance personal growth but also contribute to more fulfilling partnerships. Whether you’re a man looking to bring forth your highest self or a woman seeking a conscious partner, this episode is packed with insights to inspire deeper connection and growth.
Join in on this riveting discussion about what it means to truly embody conscious masculinity!

Wednesday Apr 29, 2026
Why Men Commit to Some Women and Not Others (The 3 Things that Make the Difference)
Wednesday Apr 29, 2026
Wednesday Apr 29, 2026
Most women believe that commitment is a mystery of "timing" or a stroke of luck. They’ve been told that if they just heal enough, wait long enough, or become "good enough," the right man will finally choose them.
But the data tells a different story.
In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on the Relational Mechanics that actually drive male behavior and looking at the objective physics of why a man will coast with one woman for years but change his entire life to commit to another in months.
We explore:
The 10/20/70 Rule: Why you’re likely ignoring the very men who are most capable of rising for you.
The "Incentive Gap": Why "being a good person" isn't a strategy for commitment, and what actually makes a man see you as a long-term investment.
The 3 Foundational Pillars: The specific signals that tell a man he’s found a partner worth building a legacy with, rather than just a companion to pass the time.
If you are tired of being the "Cool Girl" who gets nothing in return, or the "Over-Healed" woman who is still sitting on the sidelines, this episode is your decoder ring.

Wednesday Apr 22, 2026
They Want Men and Women to Hate Each Other (And It's Working)
Wednesday Apr 22, 2026
Wednesday Apr 22, 2026
Is the "Gender War" a manufactured strategy?
In this episode, we pull back the curtain on the invisible forces profiting from your loneliness, your resentment, and your distrust of the opposite sex.
From the calculated manipulation of "viral" statistics like the 26 million visitors to the "Rape Academy," to the rise of the "White Knight" influencers who trash their own gender for clicks, we explore how the modern media landscape is weaponizing our deepest relational wounds to keep us polarized.

The love advice most coaches are too afraid to give...
Most relationship advice will tell you what to do differently. This show will tell you why you keep doing what you do — and what it's actually costing you.
My name is Shane Kohler and I've spent the last decade helping women understand the unconscious patterns driving their relationships and what it actually takes to change them. Every week, I bring you brings direct, unfiltered insight into the psychology of love, attraction, and commitment — the conversations most coaches are too afraid to have.
This isn't a show about finding the right person. It's about becoming someone who can recognize them, choose them, and build something real with them. If you're done settling, done shrinking, and done wondering why love keeps falling short — you're in the right place.
New episodes every week. Follow on Instagram @the_living_relationship and send your questions for the monthly Q&A to info@thelivingrelationship.com






