The Conscious Love Show
Most relationship advice will tell you what to do differently. This show will tell you why you keep doing what you do — and what it's actually costing you.
Every week Shane Kohler brings direct, unfiltered insight into the psychology of love, attraction, and commitment. No validation. No generic advice. Just honest conversations about the unconscious patterns driving your relationships and what it actually takes to change them.
This isn't a show about finding the right person. It's about becoming someone who can recognize them, choose them, and build something real with them.
New episodes every week. Take the Relational Blueprint Quiz at inspiredloveapproach.com/blueprint to find out which pattern has been quietly running your love life.
Most relationship advice will tell you what to do differently. This show will tell you why you keep doing what you do — and what it's actually costing you.
Every week Shane Kohler brings direct, unfiltered insight into the psychology of love, attraction, and commitment. No validation. No generic advice. Just honest conversations about the unconscious patterns driving your relationships and what it actually takes to change them.
This isn't a show about finding the right person. It's about becoming someone who can recognize them, choose them, and build something real with them.
New episodes every week. Take the Relational Blueprint Quiz at inspiredloveapproach.com/blueprint to find out which pattern has been quietly running your love life.
Episodes

4 days ago
4 days ago
57 min
There's a specific grief that doesn't make sense from the outside. He didn't choose you. He pulled away. Maybe he never fully showed up. And yet you can't let go. You think about him constantly. You replay it. You wonder what you did wrong or what you could have done differently.
This episode is about what's actually happening underneath that grief — and it's not what you think. What you gave to that relationship, what you withheld from yourself in the process, and why the emptiness you're feeling now has very little to do with him.
This one is personal. I share my own experience with it. And I promise you there's something waiting on the other side of this that you can't see yet from where you're standing.
Grab your spot in The Blueprint Experience: 5 Day Immersion beginning September 14thTo Book Sessions Directly with Shane, Click Here.
To take the quiz and discover your Relational Blueprint, Click Here.
To book a personalized Blueprint Audit with a member of my team, Click Here.
Send all questions for the monthly Q and A session to info@thelivingrelationship.com
4 days ago
57 min

Aug 26, 2026
Aug 26, 2026
49 min
Commitment shows up in more ways than we usually admit — in what we demand from someone, in what we accidentally scare away, and in what we ourselves keep avoiding. This week we work with audience questions that explore all three: do we ask for more than what's being offered? Does honesty and vulnerability destabilize a connection? And what does it really mean when someone can't seem to fully commit, even when everything looks right? At the center of it all is the question so many people are quietly sitting with: do you say how you feel, or do you stay silent and hope it's enough?
Grab your spot in The Blueprint Experience: 5 Day Immersion beginning September 14thTo Book Sessions Directly with Shane, Click Here.
To take the quiz and discover your Relational Blueprint, Click Here.
To book a personalized Blueprint Audit with a member of my team, Click Here.
Send all questions for the monthly Q and A session to info@thelivingrelationship.com
Aug 26, 2026
49 min

Aug 19, 2026
Aug 19, 2026
58 min
To Book Sessions Directly with Shane, Click Here.
To take the quiz and discover your Relational Blueprint, Click Here.
To book a personalized Blueprint Audit with a member of my team, Click Here.
Send all questions for the monthly Q and A session to info@thelivingrelationship.com
My wife recently shared that every relationship she had before ours feels insignificant by comparison. That what she thought love was back then just wasn't really love at all. I understood exactly what she meant — because I feel the same way.
In today's episode I'm breaking down the four types of love, why most of them lead nowhere, and what the only starting point capable of becoming lasting love actually looks like. If you've ever wondered why the most intense connections seem to burn out the fastest, or why the quieter path to love might actually be the more real one, this episode is for you.
Aug 19, 2026
58 min

Aug 12, 2026
Shane's Diary Entry #9: My Life Story Part 1
Aug 12, 2026
Aug 12, 2026
45 min
To Book Sessions Directly with Shane, Click Here.
To take the quiz and discover your Relational Blueprint, Click Here.
To book a personalized Blueprint Audit with a member of my team, Click Here.
Send all questions for the monthly Q and A session to info@thelivingrelationship.com
For my most dedicated listeners — the ones who have been here since the beginning and want to know the full context behind this work — this is the complete story. From my birth to the birth of my daughter, to be released in monthly installments over the next few months.
I've shared pieces of it over the years. This is the first time I'm sharing all of it — including the parts I've never shared before.
Join me through the journey of my conditioning, my liberation, and ultimately my creation.
Aug 12, 2026
45 min

Aug 5, 2026
Aug 5, 2026
49 min
To Book Sessions Directly with Shane, Click Here.
To take the quiz and discover your Relational Blueprint, Click Here.
To book a personalized Blueprint Audit with a member of my team, Click Here.
Send all questions for the monthly Q and A session to info@thelivingrelationship.com
There's a pattern running your relationships right now and you didn't choose it. You learned it before you were old enough to evaluate whether what you were learning was true.
And here's what makes it so hard to change — it's not that you don't know it's there. Most women who carry these patterns have read the books, done the therapy, understand the concept. The problem is that the pattern doesn't live in your intellect. It lives in your nervous system. And knowing something is there doesn't automatically give you the ability to move.
Today I'm sharing the four childhood experiences that create the four Relational Blueprints — the origin stories behind why you do what you do with men, why certain patterns keep repeating no matter how hard you try, and what it actually takes to change them. By the end of this episode you'll know which one is yours. And knowing where the stake was placed is the first step toward finally being able to pull it out.
Aug 5, 2026
49 min

Jul 29, 2026
Jul 29, 2026
57 min
To take the Quiz and discover your Relational Blueprint, click here.
To book a private session with Shane, click here.Please send all questions for next month's Q&A episode to info@thelivingrelationship.com
This week's episode is a Q&A, built around three listener questions that all circle the same painful, familiar territory: trying to read a man who won't give you a straight answer.
The first question comes from a woman navigating a six-year, on-and-off connection with a man who disappears for months at a time, then resurfaces with an intense day or two before vanishing again — leaving her wondering whether he's genuinely interested or simply enjoys the attention when it's convenient.
The second comes from a 47-year-old woman who recognizes she's stuck in an old, anxious pattern — one where she gives her power away and accepts far less than she actually wants, currently playing out in a relationship with a man unwilling to commit.
The third comes from a woman who keeps encountering the same frustrating pattern in dating: men pursue her hard in the beginning, only to pull back a few months in, concluding they don't see a future — leaving her questioning what she might be doing wrong, even though nothing about her has changed.
Shane breaks down what's really happening beneath each of these situations — the difference between chemistry and commitment, why inconsistency so often gets mistaken for depth, and how to stop trying to decode a man's behavior and start trusting what it's already telling you.
Jul 29, 2026
57 min

Jul 22, 2026
Jul 22, 2026
55 sec
Click here to take the quiz and discover your Relational Blueprint
I met with Erin and Sarah Foster — the real-life sisters behind Netflix's Nobody Wants This — for a wide-ranging conversation on the most potent relationship challenges we all face and a powerful breakdown of my Relational Blueprint system.
Listen to the full episode. Click below to listen on Apple or Spotify or search for The World's First Podcast on any major platform and look for the episode "How Not To Be a Doormat"
Listen on Apple Podcasts
Listen on Spotify
Jul 22, 2026
55 sec

Jul 15, 2026
Jul 15, 2026
48 min
Take the Blueprint Quiz here to discover your Relational Blueprint and get your personalized breakdown.
There's a version of dating advice that tells you exactly what to say, when to say it, and how to say it. And there's a reason none of it works.
Because what he's responding to has almost nothing to do with your words. Before you've finished your first sentence he's already picked up something about you that no script can manufacture and no strategy can fake. And that something determines everything — whether he leans in or pulls back, whether he takes you seriously or keeps things casual, whether he sees a future or just a moment.
This episode is about what he's actually reading. And more importantly — what you can do about it.
Jul 15, 2026
48 min

Jul 8, 2026
Jul 8, 2026
56 min
You watched him leave. And then you watched him move on — faster than you expected, happier than you thought he'd be, with someone who seems to be everything you thought you were supposed to be to him. And the question that's been living in the back of your mind ever since is a simple one.
Why her and not me.
This episode is designed to answer that question. Because the relationship came into your life for a reason. When you really understand what that reason is, everything else that happened will make sense too.
Jul 8, 2026
56 min

Jul 1, 2026
Jul 1, 2026
48 min
Click here to take the quiz and discover your Relational BlueprintThis is for the woman who does everything right. You show up for him, you take care of him, you make sure his life runs smoothly. You make yourself as valuable and indispensable as a person can be. And somehow — it's still not working. He's not stepping up. He's not choosing you the way you need to be chosen. The relationship feels less like a partnership and more like a job. And when it's all said and done, he leaves you anyway.
This episode is about the hidden motivation underneath you efforts that silently sabotages your connection and kills the sexual polarity in the relationship. By the end of this episode, you'll understand what your nervous system has been doing in your relationships without your permission — and why the thing that feels most like love to you has been quietly working against everything you actually want.
Jul 1, 2026
48 min

The love advice most coaches are too afraid to give...
Most relationship advice will tell you what to do differently. This show will tell you why you keep doing what you do — and what it's actually costing you.
My name is Shane Kohler and I've spent the last decade helping women understand the unconscious patterns driving their relationships and what it actually takes to change them. Every week, I bring you brings direct, unfiltered insight into the psychology of love, attraction, and commitment — the conversations most coaches are too afraid to have.
This isn't a show about finding the right person. It's about becoming someone who can recognize them, choose them, and build something real with them. If you're done settling, done shrinking, and done wondering why love keeps falling short — you're in the right place.
New episodes every week. Follow on Instagram @the_living_relationship and send your questions for the monthly Q&A to info@thelivingrelationship.com






