The Conscious Love Show
Most relationship advice will tell you what to do differently. This show will tell you why you keep doing what you do — and what it's actually costing you.
Every week Shane Kohler brings direct, unfiltered insight into the psychology of love, attraction, and commitment. No validation. No generic advice. Just honest conversations about the unconscious patterns driving your relationships and what it actually takes to change them.
This isn't a show about finding the right person. It's about becoming someone who can recognize them, choose them, and build something real with them.
New episodes every week. Take the Relational Blueprint Quiz at inspiredloveapproach.com/blueprint to find out which pattern has been quietly running your love life.
Most relationship advice will tell you what to do differently. This show will tell you why you keep doing what you do — and what it's actually costing you.
Every week Shane Kohler brings direct, unfiltered insight into the psychology of love, attraction, and commitment. No validation. No generic advice. Just honest conversations about the unconscious patterns driving your relationships and what it actually takes to change them.
This isn't a show about finding the right person. It's about becoming someone who can recognize them, choose them, and build something real with them.
New episodes every week. Take the Relational Blueprint Quiz at inspiredloveapproach.com/blueprint to find out which pattern has been quietly running your love life.
Episodes

Aug 27, 2025
Aug 27, 2025
1hr 7 min
Click here to learn more about The Inspired Love Program
It’s one of the deepest cries of the human heart: “How could you leave me?”
We’ve all felt it—the shock, the grief, the ache of not being chosen.
But here’s the truth most people never consider: real love would never ask that question.
In this episode, I’m pulling apart the difference between the ego’s demand to hold on and love’s willingness to set free. We’ll look at why clinging to someone who doesn’t want to stay drains your energy, and how releasing them might be the doorway to the love that does want you.
This isn’t about denying the pain. It’s about discovering the freedom on the other side of it.

Aug 20, 2025
A Woman's Greatest Wound: The Need to Be Chosen
Aug 20, 2025
Aug 20, 2025
1hr 1 min
Click here to learn more about The Inspired Love Program
It’s almost universal.
The wound of needing to be chosen runs deep in the hearts of women everywhere—showing up in ways most don’t even realize.
In this episode, we break it down.
Why this wound exists.
Where it begins.
How it silently shapes the way you love, trust, and show up in relationships.
And most importantly—we’ll talk about what it takes to finally free yourself from it.
This isn’t about pointing fingers or shaming your story. It’s about naming the truth that’s been holding you back… and stepping into the freedom that’s been yours all along.

Aug 13, 2025
The Truth About Men in 2025
Aug 13, 2025
Aug 13, 2025
1hr 7 min
Grab your spot in The Conscious Love Challenge here.
You’ve heard the story: women are evolving, men are falling behind.
But what if that’s not the whole truth?
In this episode, I open a conversation most people aren’t willing to have—one that might challenge everything you’ve been told about men, love, and the real reasons relationships feel so out of balance today.
It’s not a defense. It’s not an attack.
It’s an invitation.
To listen deeper.
To see what you’ve been missing.
And maybe, to change the way you see the men in your life—forever.

Aug 6, 2025
Aug 6, 2025
1hr 5 min
Click Here to learn more about the Inspired Love Program and Book Your Intro Call
I'm officially a father to a beautiful little girl and as I step into this new chapter of my life, I wanted to add something new to the podcast.
Once monthly, I'm going to do a Shane's Diary episode where I take a pause from the regular content and share personal reflections, stories and insights from my journey to let you get to know the man behind the message and give you glimpses into how I embody the work in my personal life and witness my own process of evolution.
In this episode, I talk about crossing the threshold into fatherhood, my thoughts on raising a girl, my relationship to my own parents, trauma, addiction, jail time, and the journey I've taken to be ready to nurture a soul in her human experience.
Thank you for listening and I hope you enjoy this peek behind the curtain.

Jul 30, 2025
Jul 30, 2025
1hr 23 min
Why do we get so swept up by charm and chemistry, only to find ourselves in relationships that lack true emotional depth? In this episode of The Conscious Love Show, we explore the magnetic pull of initial attraction and why it often leads us into patterns with emotionally unavailable partners.
You’ll learn what emotional availability really looks like, why we unconsciously gravitate toward avoidance or inconsistency, and how to break the cycle. Together, we’ll uncover the deeper connection between self-worth and the types of partners we attract—and how healing our inner patterns can transform our love lives.
We’ll also dive into practical strategies for recognizing emotionally available partners and redefining what chemistry means in a way that aligns with your long-term goals for love. If you’re ready to move beyond the surface and attract a partner who shows up with kindness, consistency, and vulnerability, this episode is for you!

Jul 23, 2025
Jul 23, 2025
1hr 25 min
In this week's episode we explore choosing the right partner, not in a way that applies to everyone, but in a way that applies to you personally. This episode is a deep dive into exploring your own values, needs, and desires, in a relationship. What are the things that are truly non-negotiable for you? And what can you be flexible about? The answers might surprise you!
If you're listening to this episode and are interested in joining our next breathwork event, please email info@thelivingrelationship.com to be added to our waiting list!

Jul 18, 2025
Jul 18, 2025
12 min
In today’s episode of The Conscious Love Show, we tackle a frustrating relationship dynamic: What to do when he goes dark for days? If you’ve ever experienced the emotional rollercoaster of being left in the dark, unsure of where you stand with someone, this episode will offer the clarity and guidance you need.
We’ll explore the reasons why someone might pull away, the signs of emotional unavailability, and how to protect your own emotional well-being in these situations. I’ll also share how to set boundaries, communicate your needs, and decide whether to invest further in the relationship or move on. If you’ve been feeling uncertain about how to respond when he goes quiet, this episode will help you navigate the situation with confidence and self-respect.

Jul 16, 2025
Jul 16, 2025
1hr 45 min
In this episode of The Conscious Love Show we do a deep dive on how to choose the right partner. Shane does a detailed exploration of how to identify true compatibility with someone, covering important red and green flags that reveal the character of a person.
In this Part 1 of a 2 part episode, we focus more on the universal aspects of compatibility that apply to everyone. In part two we'll look at compatibility in more of an individual sense and how to choose the partner that's right for you specifically.

Jul 11, 2025
Jul 11, 2025
17 min
In today’s episode of The Conscious Love Show, we address a question that many people with anxiety face: How to stop my anxiety from ruining a relationship? If you’ve ever found your anxiety taking over in a relationship, causing overthinking, insecurity, or unnecessary conflict, this episode will help you gain control and find peace.
I’ll share strategies for managing anxiety in a relationship, how to communicate your feelings without overwhelming your partner, and how to build trust and security with both yourself and your partner. We’ll also dive into understanding how anxiety stems from past experiences and how to reframe those fears to create healthier dynamics. If you’re ready to stop letting anxiety dictate your relationships and start fostering love, calm, and connection, this episode will give you the tools to create more balance and harmony.

Jul 9, 2025
Jul 9, 2025
1hr 15 min
You’ve felt it—that slow fade, the sudden shift in energy, the uncertainty that creeps in when a connection that once felt promising starts to feel… off.
You start wondering if you’re asking for too much. You question whether to speak up or stay silent. And deep down, you just want to feel chosen without having to chase.
This is the moment when we unconsciously sabotage connection the most.
This episode is for anyone who’s tired of overthinking, tired of pretending you don’t care, tired of trying to “play it right” while your deeper truth goes unspoken.
If you’ve ever found yourself in the grey zone—unsure whether to wait, reach out, pull back, or move on—this conversation will meet you right there. Not with rules or strategies, but with clarity, truth, and the kind of self-respect that doesn’t flinch in the face of uncertainty.

The love advice most coaches are too afraid to give...
Most relationship advice will tell you what to do differently. This show will tell you why you keep doing what you do — and what it's actually costing you.
My name is Shane Kohler and I've spent the last decade helping women understand the unconscious patterns driving their relationships and what it actually takes to change them. Every week, I bring you brings direct, unfiltered insight into the psychology of love, attraction, and commitment — the conversations most coaches are too afraid to have.
This isn't a show about finding the right person. It's about becoming someone who can recognize them, choose them, and build something real with them. If you're done settling, done shrinking, and done wondering why love keeps falling short — you're in the right place.
New episodes every week. Follow on Instagram @the_living_relationship and send your questions for the monthly Q&A to info@thelivingrelationship.com






